NINJA STUFF: Swimming with Sharks (Part Two)

Last Time on Ninja Stuff: I talked about how writers need to exercise caution and make an informed decision when signing with a literary agent, even if that agent has appeared here. I gave an example of a lousy contract and cautioned writers to be wary of publishing professionals.

And now the thrilling conclusion...

In some ways, this and yesterday's post is biting the hand that feeds. This blog was built on interviews with publishing professionals and I'm cautioning Esteemed Reader that some of those same publishing professionals are sharks. Should some agent or editor take issue and decide not to appear at this blog, that would make me sad. If I've misspoken, I don't mind admitting I'm wrong, but only if I'm wrong.

The truth is I like editors and agents and booksellers of all kinds. You know I do. I like book people and I love readers--they're my favorite kinds of people. I just don't like to see writers harmed. If you're a publishing professional who isn't harming a writer, know I'm not talking about you. Of course, we may disagree as to what constitutes harming a writer.

In many cases, I don't know a good agent from a bad one because we haven't met and I'm not soliciting their services, so I'm not doing the full-on research of speaking with their current clients, reading any interview of theirs I can get my hands on, or checking their recent sales, all of which I would do if I were soliciting their services--which I wouldn't be doing, because I'm perfectly happy with my agent (even if I don't have any work for him just now), who is 100% not a shark.

Amy Tipton is one of my best Facebook homies, and she's very un-shark-like. Joanna Volpe's making movie deals happen for her clients right and left and she's always been very nice to me. I could go on, but I won't. Most of the agents who've appeared here are probably great agents for the right client. And even great agents sometimes make mistakes.

The one thing I've tried to illustrate through this blog and forced myself to learn is that agents and editors are just people. Really. Like all people they're sometimes good and sometimes bad. They aren't all knowing wizards of publishing (wouldn't it be nice), nor are they members of an evil empire conspiring to keep your book from being read. Like the people of any other profession, some of them are better at their jobs than others, some of them are luckier, and some of them are simply better positioned.

But the field of publishing is changing dramatically and has changed. You don't need me to tell you this. Attend any writer's conference and hear the tales of woe resulting from a major paradigm shift in publishing. Indie publishing now comprises 20% of genre fiction sales and that number is likely to grow. Major authors are walking away from traditional publishing in favor of going indie and that's a trend that's likely to continue. You may think that's a terrible thing, you may think it's an exciting thing for writers and readers, but regardless, it's happening at the same time publishers and bookstores are vanishing. This isn't the end of all traditional publishing forever, but the empire is crumbling, and that environment is bound to have an impact on publishing professionals.

I'm no expert and I don't know where all these changes are going to lead us. I don't know where publishing will be in 10 years time, but I wouldn't invest any savings in Barnes and Noble stock and I wouldn't let a publisher tie up my copyright for life plus 70 years. Obviously, I've decided indie is the way to go until the dust settles and I can see who's still standing. You may disagree, Esteemed Reader, but either way we're witnessing some fascinating changes and seeing some truly interesting behavior among said publishing professionals.

I'll have criticisms for some of them momentarily, but first a brief aside to put my observations in context: I wish everyone would read Outliers by Malcom Gladwell as it goes a long way toward unpacking the great American myth of the self-made man. There are other factors that go into determining human behavior we don't completely understand or have time to cover in a post about publishing professionals behaving badly, but I also wish everyone would read Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner (or at least watch the movie) and Beyond Freedom and Dignity by B.F. Skinner.

I tend to be more forgiving of bad behavior than most because I accept that people are not always completely 100% responsible for their own actions. External factors play a determining role. I may want to wear a tank top, but if it's snowing, I'm probably wearing a sweater. If you've never read about the infamous Stanford Prison experiment in which students divided into prisoners and guards and took their roles far too seriously, you absolutely need to go read up on it now. Creepier yet is the classic Milgram experiment which explains a lot about how evil spreads in the world--one regular person submitting to authority at a time.

There's no shortage of creepy psych experiments I could link to, but let's end this aside with one I think most directly illuminates what's happened with some publishing professionals. Sociologists at Berkeley University ran experiments with a rigged game of monopoly (you've probably heard this one, but I'll leave the Ted discussion of the topic posted below because if you haven't, you need to know about this). Even though players knew the game was rigged in their favor, they became more aggressive and more insistent that their wins were due to their own actions despite their obvious advantage.

The implications of this experiment are vast and perhaps explain why Mitt Romney famously told students to borrow tuition money from their parents. He's lost perspective that he's long been playing a rigged game. The richest 1% are genuinely confused as to why you're not rich and they think they deserve their wealth because they've worked harder than us. This also explains how many congressman and senators sleep at night--on fine pillows given to them by wealthy donors who've purchased their votes, naturally.

Brief aside finished:) But keep in mind that as circumstances change, so do people, often in unpredictable, unexpected ways. Starve an honest person long enough, they'll likely steal food, no matter the reputation preceding them.

Writers need to be better than average at empathizing, so let us put ourselves in the position of a literary agent or editor attending a writer's conference. I've done this once before for comedy.

We touchdown in a flyover state, like say, Indiana, and are greeted at the airport by enthusiastic volunteers who give us a ride through vast stretches of cornfields and flat lands so different from New York it's like being on a different planet. Have you ever seen so many churches? The friendly volunteers casually pitch us their book ideas on the drive and then we meet other volunteers at the convention center of the town's fanciest Holiday Inn who also casually pitch us their story idea or grumble that their book got an unfair shake. This probably doesn't happen at every conference, but I'll wager it happens often enough, and the crowd of strange, under-educated writers who sometimes populate conferences must seem somewhat like flocking rubes when the carnival's in town.

Throughout the three days or week of the conference, we will have a target on our chests at which will be launched the hopes and vitriol of the unwashed masses of writers and wherever we go, the bathroom, our suite, outside to get some air, there will be some writer who either wants us to represent them or blames us for prior rejection letters we may or may not have written. Desperate writers with big dreams and stars in their eyes will pay us what little money they have for a critique, not even of a full manuscript, but say, 50 bucks for the first five pages. And there are a lot of writers with a lot of fifties.

Remember, we're a publishing professional and we know the numbers. We know that even if we could pick the few writers out of the horde who have polished their craft to the point their work is publishable, there simply aren't enough slots for every writer or even half of them. The writers are passionate and they don't want to hear what the numbers prove: no matter what they do, most writers will not land publishing contracts.

You may be a saint, Esteemed Reader, but I'm not. I'd want those fifties. And I bet some of them would pay $75, maybe $100, and after all I am helping these writers and I can help maybe ten or even twenty a day, making conferences lucrative indeed. Suppose I'm a young editor who had to fight out a whole lot of candidates for an editing position with a major publisher. That coveted position has a lot of prestige, but I'm making intern wages and paying New York rent and I keep hearing rumors of mergers and bankruptcies and everyone in my industry is terrified of losing their job because they all know a lot of folks who used to work in publishing. Or maybe I'm an agent getting royalty checks and then passing them onto writers who don't know when the check is due and I can pass it onto them, or at least most of it, next month after my rent is paid (after all, the writer wouldn't be getting anything if it weren't for me).

One of the best things you can do for your writing career, Esteemed Reader, is experience different parts of the publishing industry. I've been an editor on magazines and been inundated by queries and manuscripts. After a few days of reading slush, I was looking for ways to reject writers faster and it was easy--newbies tend to make a lot of the same mistakes. I found I began to anticipate that every manuscript was likely to be bad and I plowed into them with a cynical mindset, looking for the excuse for me to reject it and move on because I had a huge pile of slush to get through

Some of you Esteemed Readers may be bristling as I'm not painting the most flattering picture of publishing professionals. Critiques are valuable and plenty of professionals are kind enough to lend their expert eye to teach newbies. I've gotten a lot out of some critiques and the knowledge I gained was well worth the money spent. And some of the people who gave those critiques were honest, upright citizens who weren't making a quick buck, but requesting a fair exchange for their time and expertise. However, just as in any other field, there's a wide spectrum of people in publishing.

I'm hard-pressed to think of a time in my writing career when I was more outraged (my heart is beating fast, my teeth are gritted, and veins are standing out on my neck at the mere memory) than when an editor for a major, oh-my-God-I-hope-they-pick-me publisher gave me a business card not for their professional role, but for their independent consulting service. For a regular and hefty fee, this person would edit my work and advise my writing career and I thought "Gee, it's too bad you can't find a way to parlay those skills into your professional role as a @#%ing editor!!!" 

Chief among my reasons for publishing independently has been that card, which I still have. I'd read the many articles about the collapse of the publishing industry, but it never seemed to hit home until I held that card. It filled me with despair.

There are many wonderful professionals blogging and publishing books about how to please agents and editors and giving seminars and I do not wish to imply that a professional person can't successfully both do that and serve the writers they represent. I have no doubt some can. I found Cheryl Klein's book Second Sight enormously helpful and her writers seem very happy with her work.

I never sent my manuscript to that editor (okay, fine, I did--newbie writers get desperate, which is a big part of the problem), but I've always wondered why would that person prioritize my book for the publisher when their consulting business was booming? Super-star agents can get a lot done, but isn't an agent's role to support and build a super-star writer? If I were considering signing with a professional who had a side business, I'd want to make darn sure their writers were demonstrably on their way to being at least as successful as the professional. Cheryl Klein's writers include J.K Rowling:)

Back in my querying days I somehow got signed up on the newsletters for various agents and I absolutely howled with laughter when I received notice that one of these former agents (for a major agency I would've killed to sign with once upon a time) had a debut novel that she self published, because, you know, publishing contracts are difficult to get without good representation:) I'm tempted to link to the former agent's book, but that would be cruel and I'm not in the habit of author shaming, even when the author in question should know better. The cover is a simply awful homemade job and the text is essentially unreadable, partly because the formatting is all over the place, partly because it's unedited stream-of-conscious prose (but oh so pompous and pretentious). Last time I checked Amazon, the book had less than 5 reviews, most of them one and two-stars (you'd think her old writers at least might lie and give her five).

When I stopped laughing, I wondered, how many writers pinned all of their hope to this publishing professional who demonstrably had no idea what she was doing? I assure you it took all of the sting out of her previous rejection of my work:)

Writing and publishing are not a science and if anyone knew how to publish an award-winning bestseller each and every time, they'd be doing it. I don't know of any publishing professional who has such a track record. That's not to say there aren't wonderful publishing professionals out there who are ideal partners for writers. There are and I hope this blog introduces you to such a person. But the water is choppy, there's dorsal fins poking above the waves, and I'd hate to see you drug under, Esteemed Reader.


SWIM AT YOUR OWN RISK.

NINJA STUFF: Swimming with Sharks (Part One)

Click here to read the second part of this post.

I'm feeling a little nervous today, Esteemed Reader, but I hope you're doing well. Why am I nervous, you ask. I want to talk about literary agents and publishers today, subjects I've typically avoided unless I had something positive to say. I usually bite my tongue because literary agents have been kind enough to appear here and it's important to me to be a good host.

When one of the literary agents who appeared here made an absolute fool of herself online by telling a writer to change the sexual orientation of a character and then further advocated writing primarily about heterosexual characters to improve sales, actually arguing with writers in comments sections, I said nothing.

The agent (one of 75, so good luck guessing who) was good enough to make time for this blog and that puts her in my cool book. Plus, having had first-hand dealings with publishers, I can't say for certain that she was giving bad business advice. Morally bankrupt advice, granted, but advice geared toward being published that might be worth listening to for those writers without scruples.

Before continuing, please allow me a brief aside: I drank a lot of soda in my teenage years (for more of my thoughts on Big Soda, see my novel All Together Now) and I wasn't as diligent with a toothbrush as I should've been. Since then, I've changed my ways and I now look forward to seeing my hygienist as she compliments my brushing and flossing--I even swirl fluoride twice a day. Good for me and good for future author photos, though I'm really attached to my usual cartoon avatar.

At one point, I went to a corporate emergency dentistry service because I'd delayed long enough to let a tooth get infected--and I had some other cavities. I was cornered by two dentists who assured me my mouth was a ticking time bomb and I would be reduced to nothing but gums soon (maybe that very night!!!) unless I had a crown put on almost every tooth and gave them more money than I've paid for all the cars I've ever owned combined. Needless to say, I was distraught and stupid enough to give them some money because, you know, they were doctors and I was in pain.

Later, chatting with a hygienist and asking multiple versions of the right questions, I got her to confess she was looking for a new job because this particular practice (a conglomerate across multiple states) paid their dentists commissions for crowns. And she had incentives to recommend  products to me as well. This is America, after all, and we can't even trust our car manufacturers not to kill us if there's money in it.

A friend gave me the name of an older dentist who'd been in business far longer and he took care of my teeth for less than $500 (all of them). I told him my story and he wasn't surprised as it's apparently common. Most of the teeth the previous dentists wanted to put crowns on didn't even have cavities.

So, shall I extrapolate from this experience that all dentists are bad and not to be trusted? Of course not. Obviously, I found a good dentist and I'm hanging onto him. And so, I say it is also true that just because some literary agents are sharks, one shouldn't get the idea that all literary agents are sharks (except for Janet Reid, but in her case being a shark is a good thing).

I'm going to list some specific examples of agents and publishers (without naming anyone in particular) behaving badly, but allow me to speak in generalization just a moment longer. First, despite my dig at American capitalism, my intention is not to argue that America isn't a fine place. It is and I count myself lucky to have been born here.

When I criticize rampant greed demoralizing our public institutions, I try to maintain a historical and global perspective. I get a lot of blog traffic from other countries and should any of those folks be reading from a place where they have no dental care, they're unlikely to be moved by my being inconvenienced to get mine. Current Americans can compare their economic position to the overwhelmed majority of Americans in Gatsby's time, but we have iPhones and air conditioning and access to a vaccine for polio--so ya know, have some perspective.

Second, it is not my intention to argue ideology as this isn't late night in a dorm and we have business to discuss. If you think you'd like socialism, that's great, but if you live here, you're getting capitalism like the rest of us--for better and for worse. It's a good idea to learn as much as you can about the world and to have an informed opinion and to have idyllic beliefs (this blog is aimed at fiction writers), but that is not a substitute for acknowledging the reality of life as it is. I believe dentists should behave ethically at all times. In reality, there's a clear motive to bilk their patients and some dentists will. As a person needing dental care, it does me no good to pretend there aren't sharks just because there shouldn't be.

My, so much preamble shows me just how nervous I am to get at the heart of this post, but enough stalling. For years, I've depended on literary agents to grow this blog's readership (and I appreciate it) and I hoped to sign with an agent, so when I saw literary agents behaving in a questionable manner, I looked the other way. After all, it was only one agent, and then two agents, then ten, and now a whole flock of 'em... And it's been getting worse.

The reason I haven't had any literary agents here for a time is partly because I truly have been busy, but also because I've been a tad hesitant. To be clear, my featuring an agent on this blog is not an endorsement of their services and no writer should sign with an agent on the sole basis of the way they answered 7 Questions here. Sharks in suits like movies and books too and the fact that they like the same book you do is not the most important factor in deciding whether you should allow them to represent you.

I present information and that's all. I can't be an agent watchdog as I haven't the time, resources, or interest. Swim at your own risk. Read the interviews here, but read other online information about an agent that interests you. I would never sign with an agent I hadn't met or at least talked to on the phone and the details of our business relationship would have to be in order, regardless of how I felt about them as a person.

The impetus for this post is that a writer has signed with an agent she discovered through this blog and the result has been disastrous. It's not my fault, of course, but I do feel badly that it happened. Not so badly that I'm going to take the agent's interview down, but badly enough to finally write this post. I'm going to repeat that: Of the 75 agent interviews so far available here, I know for a fact at least one of these agents engages in questionable business practices and I suspect a few others. And I'm not going to do a thing about it.

I'm presenting data on these agents. It's up to the reader to decide whether or not the agent is a good fit for them.

And that's how it has to be. On what basis should I remove an agent's interview? How could I make sure I was being fair? If anything, reading an interview with a bad agent can be just as illuminating as an interview with a good one. Also, many things about a literary agent are subjective. I've met agents I thought were rude and hostile, but who got great contracts for their clients and that is, after all, what you want an agent for in the first place.

Here's another judgement call writers have to make for themselves: 

There are imprints of major publishers now "going indie." They're multiple variations of this, but I'm speaking of a specific imprint's contract terms I found particularly egregious. This is an imprint of the Big Five (soon to be the Big Four and so on) that is offering to "partner" with writers.

There's no advance, but you get 35% of royalties on ebooks, the imprint gets the other 35%--except not really. This imprint is putting together an ebook with a professionally designed cover, professional editing and formatting. A print-on-demand book is also made available so should bookstores decide to stock your title, they can. Wow!

You know who else has all of those things? This guy (points thumbs at self). And it didn't cost me half my royalties to get it either. I've paid out some cash for professional work, but I've already made it back and then some because I get 70% on my ebook and however much I deem appropriate on my print-on-demand book (not much).

Ninja, I hear you saying, you're a work-a-holic and your first cover had to be changed because you don't have years of professional publishing experience. Neither do the interns you're likely to be working with, but your point is well taken, Esteemed Reader. Not every writer wants to be their own publisher, nor can they afford the start-up costs (pretty negligible as business starts-ups go, but still). For this reason, I say signing such a contract is a subjective decision.

From what I've read of this particular imprint and what I know from an acquaintance who signed with them, being your publishing "partner" means they pick the cover without your approval,  demand whatever editorial changes they deem necessary, control pricing and the book's blurb and description, and most egregious of all, they insist on a non-compete. Not to worry. This is a professional publisher and professional publishers are never wrong and understand books better than their authors, so naturally there will be no need for you to publish elsewhere. And after all, the writer is getting half the royalties.

Except not really. The writer gets 35% of the publisher's 70% royalties minus miscellaneous expenses (all legitimate, I have no doubt) and of course, minus the literary agent's 15% for recommending this fabulous package. The imprint keeps tabs on books sold (you can trust them, they're professionals), your royalties are sent to your agent (you can trust them, they're a professional) who forwards the money onto you minus their expenses when they deem appropriate. And you Mr. or Mrs. Writer can go on writing your stories and never worry your pretty little head about the business aspects of all this. You're in the hands of professionals.

My acquaintance hasn't made a dime thus far, but I'm sure you'll do better, Esteemed Reader. You just have to believe and clap your hands and think a happy thought. Every book ever published by a professional house has been a bestseller and I'm sure you'll be no exception:) I maintain that being single is far superior to being in a bad marriage and being an independent author is better than being trapped in a bad contract.

I've got more specific examples for you, but I'm saving them for part two to make sure you come back:) For today, I want to loudly declare not all literary agents and publishing professionals are your friends. It would be nice if publishing professionals everywhere always acted in the best interest of writers and the surest way to land yourself in a bad contract is to behave as though they did.

Until tomorrow, you might be interested to read this, this, and this. After that, you'll need cheering up, so read this:)

Click here to read the second part of this post.