NINJA STUFF: Author, Year Three (2016)

photo by Jessica Holman

Esteemed Reader, the state of our ninja is strong:) I don't know how you feel about these yearly posts chronicling my journey as an author, but I like them. I liked reading last year's post moments ago and reflecting on the time that's passed (Time, you wicked thing, you move too fast). There are plenty of incredible interviews and amazing guest posts available if you'd prefer to read something more interesting written by and about people who aren't me:)

But alas, this online repository of insights by superior writers and publishing professionals doubles as my author blog, so occasionally you're stuck with me: Robert Kent, the guy who promotes and celebrates middle grade fiction while publishing nasty horror novels filled with all sorts of foul language and violence and blasphemy of the sort my own dear mother would not have let me read back when she could still stop me.

When I gave Momma Ninja a verbal synopsis of The Book of David, she shook her head sadly and said, "Oh my." To the best of my knowledge, she hasn't read it (I surely would've gotten a late night phone call), and that's probably for the best. I've caused her enough worry over my lifetime:)

A lot happened in 2016 and there will no doubt be endless posts elsewhere about all the celebrity deaths, the media released (God bless you Batman V. Superman and Uncharted 4), and the craziest presidential election I've ever seen that has me wondering just how much longer we're going to continue to run our country using this outdated political model desperately in need of an upgrade. But I have outrage fatigue, I honestly didn't see that many movies (I'll get around to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them in 2017, I promise), and most of the books I read or listened to were published in previous years.

As for the deaths of famous people, they've all hurt, partly because of the way media holds such a pervasive and intimate role in our lives that hasn't been true for any earlier era (there are people alive now who remember when you couldn't watch movie stars in bed). Carrie Fisher wasn't just an actress I never met, she was among my first loves. Carrie Fisher was a lot of people's first love, and a lot of other people loved her for reasons far beyond Star Wars. Also, if someone as famous and important as her can die, any of us can die, holy crap, we're gonna get old and die. I just saw Return of the Jedi for the first time how many years ago... oh no. Time, you wicked thing, you move too fast.

Richard Adams' death struck me particularly hard. Unlike the many other celebrities we've lost, I interacted with him. He was a very kind man who was gracious with his time and generous with his praise and I'll always be grateful for the incredible kindness he showed me. 

If I want to make myself misty-eyed, I have only to remember that first time I read his blurb for Banneker Bones and the Giant Robot Bees, as it was more meaningful to me than any other milestone in my author career could be. If I ever get down on writing or blogging (happens to us all), or if somebody says something mean about one of my books (jerks!), I have only to remember that Richard Adams didn't think I sucked, and if that doesn't cheer me up or make me feel like I have as much right to participate in our shared literature as anyone else, nothing ever will.  And when some other author asks me for a blurb or to appear on this blog or for some other favor, I remember the kindness Richard Adams showed me and frequently feel obliged to pay it forward.

What I mostly did in 2016 was a lot of dad-ing. I bought a blow-up pool this summer marked down to 20 bucks from 60 and even though the pool sprung a leak by September, it's still one of the best things I ever bought. Little Ninja and I lounged in our pool and splashed each other in the backyard and laughed like loons over several long summer afternoons. If there's one thing I want to remember about 2016 in future years, that's the one:)

Little Ninja dressed as Prince for Halloween. After a decade of our clearance-special, Charlie Brown Christmas tree, Mrs. Ninja and I sprang for a brand new six-foot beauty that Little Ninja knocked over after it had been up a week. I changed a lot of diapers, attempted some potty training that's still a work in progress for 2017, worked with some wonderful child care specialists, and spent a fair amount of time worrying about some things that were out of my control (always a waste of time I'm rarely capable of avoiding). I also lifted a lot of weights and am now extremely proficient at picking up heavy things. While not transforming me into a Ben Afleck hunk, the exercise has helped me maintain a sense of calm-ish-ness.

(here it is again)

But this is a post about my being an author, not a dad (or a Batfleck), and some pretty cool stuff happened in 2016, like my being on that panel in the photo above. I'm the guy in white, talking about my books while sitting next to more talented authors. No, seriously. That's our old friends Skila Brown, author of Caminar, to my right, Sarah J. Schmitt, author of It's a Wonderful Death to my left, and John David Anderson, author of Ms. Bixby's Last Day on the end. A panel filled with that much talent and the guy who wrote Pizza Delivery is the one doing the talking? Are you freaking kidding me!?!

I'm elated that people are asking me to teach classes on writing and to speak on panels. I'm thrilled when really talented authors ask to appear on this blog or want to interact with me in other ways. I'm pumped to be swapping critiques with Laura Martin, whose series about dinosaurs in a post-apocalyptic Indiana has rocked my world. Is that Susan Kaye Quinn or Darby Karchut or Barbara Dee or any number of other amazing writers casually chatting with me on Facebook? You bet. One evening earlier this year I got an email from Andy Weir and while I was reading it my inbox chimed to let me know I had a new email from Hugh Howey, cause that's how the Ninja rolls, son. Whoo! Book life!!!

I'm not just bragging to be bragging, I have a point: somewhere in there while I was busy working so hard to become an author, I became one. I've got a whole bunch of writer friends and people are paying money to read my stories (as well as to see me in person) and it's awesome. What's the point of these year-in review posts if I don't acknowledge my successes? Some cool stuff happened this year to let me know that that thing I always wanted to do... I did it.

I could be doing some things better, and we'll get to some of my mistakes, but I'm no longer embarrassed to introduce myself at parties as a writer (I hand out a business card or sign a book). I'm not talking about something I'm going to do some day, I'm talking about something I have done and am actively doing. I'm still going to get old (maybe) and die (you too, Esteemed Reader, you too), but I honestly feel like I'm doing some stuff that's worth doing with the life I have while I can do it (Pizza Delivery is going to change the world!).

I've got three things left to share: a rant, a mistake, a personal insight, and then I'll tell you what's coming in 2017 and we'll call it a post.

First, a rant: I've been pleasantly surprised by how gratifying it is to publish my own books and by how many readers don't care one bit how a story gets to them so long as the pizza delivered is scary. Many authors who've been in the business long enough to have gotten a good look at how publishing actually works (not the imaginary way we hope it works when we're reading our first Writer's Market) are curious to know more about self publishing. Several editors and other publishing professionals who've been downsized or fear a layoff is coming have been curious to know how they can get in touch with other writers who are self publishing and in need of their services.

But some people are a-holes:)

It doesn't happen nearly as frequently as I feared it would when I first self published, but every so often someone will make a snide comment in my direction about self published authors not being real authors (real authors give up control of their work and settle for less money, apparently). I believe I've lost at least one friend due to my decision to self publish. Other well-meaning authors have said some fairly pedantic things in my direction.

In my third year of being an author, I can say I mostly don't care (I'm not made of stone). But, honestly, I'm having too much fun to worry what some sourpusses may think about it. When I decided to marry a black woman, some other white people advised against it, and when I decided to publish my own books, some other writers advised against that as well and I have yet to regret choosing what makes me happy. Boom! How you gonna refute my point when I brought racism into it!?!? Game, set, and match:)

Again, most of my fellow writers have been very kind. As for the handful of jerks, I recognize myself in them. The worst offenders are typically the authors who have published their first book, but aren't getting anywhere on the second, or who have been sending out queries for a long time. I've been there, brothers and sisters, and I used to say some mean things about self published authors myself; then I read some self-published books that were as good as, and in many cases, better, than what traditional publishers are offering and I quit being a snob. As for those of my brethren finding success with traditional publishing: Play on players. Get it how you live.

And it's not like traditionally published authors don't have to deal with jerks. I've got a traditionally published friend who assured me that an author famous for one book (still working on that follow up more than a decade later) treated him badly because he was simply a 'genre writer.' No matter how you publish, somebody somewhere is going to try to make you feel bad for daring to express yourself creatively. Life is short, haters gonna hate, so brush that dirt off your shoulder.

Second, a mistake: Ye Esteemed Readers without sin may cast the first stone. I'll be talking a lot about The Book of David the first part of 2017 when I put up one of my so-smug-as-to-practically-be-unreadable afterwords and some other book-related posts as soon as the fifth and final installment of my serial horror novel is published (it's coming as quick as I can get it to you, I promise).

But Ninja, you ask, didn't you publish the first four parts of your continuing series last year, making your readers have to wait an unreasonable amount of time for the climax to the story they already forked over good money to read? Shut up, Esteemed Reader:)

Alas, it is true. I'm never going to be as fast at writing as I think I should be (or as good as I think I am). I honestly thought writing a serial novel would be like writing one book broken up into five parts. Instead, it's been like writing five novels about one story. The last three installments each have a higher word count than All Together Now without so much as a single zombie in their pages.

I'm trying to grow as an artist and I'm so proud of The Book of David. It's my most ambitious project to date and honestly, I didn't think the series would have so many readers so fast. Aside from this blog, I've done almost nothing to promote it, and yet readers have found it and enthusiastically embraced it. Actually, some readers might've thought it sucked, but all the Esteemed Readers who've taken the time to write me and tell me how much the story scared them and has them hooked, wanting to know the ending, have delighted me to no end as that's what I most hoped would happen when I wrote those first four chapters.

Unfortunately, most of the Esteemed Readers who've written me to tell me nice things about my story were also writing to ask where they could pick up Chapter Five, and I've had to be all like, "well, it's funny you bring that up, because you can totally find it... nowhere except in my head."

My bad, dudes. Chapter Five is written (mostly) and is in revision with the many editors I depend on to keep me from making a fool of myself. I could publish it now, but the only thing worse for me than disappointing Esteemed Reader by being late is rushing to publish a final installment that's not worthy of their time and money. The Book of David is the most humongous story I've ever had to tell and it's important to me that it be done right.

Still, it was reckless and irresponsible of me to publish the first three chapters while still working on the fourth and fifth. I honestly didn't realize just how much story I had to tell. To any Esteemed Readers who have been left hanging: I'm so sorry to have made you wait and I so appreciate your patience and your enthusiasm for my work.

I suck. I'll try not to do it again in the future.

Third, a personal insight: There was a day in 2016 working on the end of The Book of David that brought me to tears. I've put my whole heart into that story and when it's published, I can walk away from it and know that I left everything I had on the field. Should it become the story I'm known for, as much as I'll ever be known at all, (I'd prefer to be known as the Banneker Bones guy) I'll be happy to be identified as the guy who wrote the long horror story in which many mean and offensive things were said about religion, the government, and flying saucers. The Book of David, for better or worse, is the story I had to share with the world and if I were only ever able to have published the books I've published so far, I'd be glad The Book of David was among them (oh my God, you guys, I love it so much, and I don't care that some reader somewhere thinks I'm going to Hell for writing it).

Still, sometimes when in the throws of writing a thing, it's easy to forget why we writers are bothering at all. I identify with the title character, David Walters, in more ways than I'm completely comfortable admitting to in public, but in retrospect, it's his wife, Miriam Walters, I most identify with. She's not me and her crazy tale of living in a haunted house while being pestered by UFOs should in no way be interpreted as an autobiography by proxy. I made all that stuff up, honest.

That being said, of course I identify with my protagonists (yes, all of them). Each of my characters is typically reacting in a story the way a version of myself likely would were I to find myself in their circumstances (I hope I never do).

Miriam Walters is my only character to date who is a writer, a write of middle grade fiction no less, and she wants to take care of her family, find readers for her fiction, and to never be tempted to smoke another cigarette. I want all of those things myself and of all my characters in all my books, I think she and I might get along best at a lunch if she didn't hold a grudge for all the misery I put her through in service of the story (she's a writer, so she'd understand).

During one of the last chapters of her story which I won't spoil here (for those of you who've read it, this particular scene involves an open garage door) I realized that my character's emotional crux, for once, was my emotional crux. I was in tears by the time I finished the chapter because it dawned on me that I had written everything else that happened to my character to get her to that moment so I could forgive her and in doing so, forgive myself. 

The details don't really matter to anyone but me. What does matter is that in writing Miriam's story I was able to relieve myself of a deep-rooted emotional burden I'd been carrying for nearly two decades. Don't get it twisted: I wrote The Book of David to show Esteemed Reader a good time and maybe poke at their brain a little and that's it. If I made you laugh, scared you a bit, and made you consider an alternate point of view, than I did my job. I get your money and your attention, you get my story that hopefully justifies the expenditure of both, and that's it. We're square.

But once in a while there are moments that come to a writer that reward beyond what I have any right to expect to receive. Realizing I can hate myself a little less because I don't hate my character is a reward you can't put a price tag on. There are a lot of great things about writing that will keep me writing in 2017 (not discounting Esteemed Reader's money by any means), but that moment of realization when you at last understand why this particular story had to be told by this particular writer the way it was told make all the pain that goes along with writing totally worthwhile. You can't find catharsis like this at the bottom of a bottle or on a therapist's couch. 

One of the many reasons I write is to free myself. If that doesn't make sense to you, Esteemed Reader, that sucks for you, but I bet a lot of you writers know what I'm talking about:)

Here's what's coming up in 2017: I have promised my number-one middle grade fan that I would stop writing so much horror and finish Banneker Bones 2 in time for his birthday in July.  That means I'm slowly ramping up into middle grade mode once again. My sentences will be shorter and my prose will be tighter and I'll knock off all the cussing, but I wouldn't go so far as to promise complete politeness or what would even be the point? I'll also be focusing on reading more middle grade books instead of horror stories and I might even review a few books here (don't worry, we'll still have plenty of interviews and guest posts).

Little Ninja recently broke my and Mrs. Ninja's hearts by starting pre-school (Time, you wicked thing, you move too fast), which is freeing up a bit more time for me to write and one reason why this post is so long:) My number one writing resolution for 2017 is to focus on book promotion beyond this blog. Once Chapter Five is available, I'll finally have enough books out to justify spending money on promoting my stuff, so I'll be attempting various paid marketing venues and possibly be sharing some of my experiences here so you can learn from my screw ups:)

Here's hoping that 2017 is a very good year for both of us, Esteemed Reader. Author, Year Four, here I come!

An Afterword for BANNEKER BONES AND THE GIANT ROBOT BEES Part Three: Let's Talk About Bees (and economics)

This is the final part of a three-part afterword for Banneker Bones and the Giant Robot Bees. If you read the first two parts, surely you've read the book by now, but if you haven't (why not? It's so much better than these blog posts), beware of casual spoilers ahead. In the first part of this post, I discussed race and my inspiration for the novel. In the second part, I told you my wacky beliefs about writing being magical rather than a rational artistic process involving the subconscious, which it probably is, but man it sure feels magic. So that just leaves us with a discussion of Richard Adams, robot bees, and economics (naturally).

So, as I explained in agonizing detail last part, Banneker took over my story and made me change the whole thing, bumping my planned plot involving alligator people to book two. Probably, that's just as well. Alligator people are an involved antagonist and Banneker had declared himself an antagonist for much of this first story. When Banneker did what he did, he changed the whole genre I was writing in. This was no longer primarily a science fiction adventure/mystery, though it's still all of those things as well. It was (spoiler and don't let young boys read this lest it kill sales) a love story.

No, really. Although there's a kidnapping and a great deal of action involving jet packs and robot bees, the plot of Banneker Bones and the Giant Robot Bees is that of a romance novel. It's a Bro-mance. I can show you my original outline and notes (maybe someday I'll stick them in a special edition release), but the giant robot bees don't make their first appearance until Chapter 37, nearly halfway through the book, and I barely even mention them before then. If this were simply a mystery plot involving a ransom, halfway through the book is way too late in the game to introduce the villains. I'd never get away with it if the primary plot wasn't about something else, and it is.

The primary plot is introduced in Chapter 1, as it should be. Ellicott Skullworth is a lonely boy setting out on an adventure, the shy heroine of any first romance. When he arrives at Latimer City, he meets a dashing rogue in Banneker (also lonely) and naturally they hate each other, but the reader just knows by the last chapter they're going to be friends. Obviously, there's no kissing or stirring of passions, but there is a culminating bro-hug complete with back patting. Not all love is romantic love and a best friend is something every eleven-year-old boy, too young yet for actual romance, longs for. Mrs. Ninja is the love of my life, but Adam Smith, who illustrated the novel, has been my best friend since the third grade. There's never been any romance between us (I could do better), but our relationship means a great deal to me and he knows things about me Mrs. Ninja doesn't by virtue of having been around longer.

Before I wrote books, I wrote screenplays and I started my writing journey in film school. I wrote 8 screenplays before I realized I liked writing more than movie making (less compromise) and became a barely employable English major. My favorite of all my screenplays was one called Giant Robot Bees From Outer Space (best title evah!). I liked it so much I've promised myself I'll still make the movie one day even though I know I won't. It was a tale of beekeeping brothers in love with the same woman who discover the honey of the giant robot bees from space who've recently arrived is delicious and the brothers attack their hive for one big score. Man, it would've made a good movie if I had the budget to pull it off (never got close), but it wouldn't work as a horror novel for adults. Movies can be funny and scary at the same time, but I think books (outside of Stephen King's hilarious satire Needful Things) have a harder time of it.

But the giant robot bees seem perfectly at home in middle grade and the nice thing about writing books is I don't have to worry about a production budget. Should someone ever be crazy enough to make a live-action Banneker Bones and the Giant Robot Bees movie, they have my sympathy trying to afford all the robot special effects in this story. I don't have to worry about how much it costs to bring the bees back in sequels, so I probably will. The lesson here for writers is never throw anything out. Always keep a copy of your previous work because you never know when you might find a good idea or two worth transporting to a fresh story.

I've said Banneker Bones is a lot like me, and he really is. I feel connected to Ellicott also, but unfortunately for my parents, I was much closer to Banneker at age eleven. One way in which we are exactly the same is in our aversion to bees. I've written horror for older readers, but nothing in those stories scares me as much as bees.

Back when I was making movies on no budget, I devised an overhead shot by sitting on the edge of a five-story parking garage and filming the actors below. All went well until a bee flew into my face, causing me to panic and topple over the edge. I didn't fall because Adam Smith caught me (and swatted the bee away), which is one of many reasons it's nice to have a best friend. If I could explain my irrational fear of tiny insects to which I'm not allergic (I think, though I've always run screaming before I could be stung), it wouldn't be an irrational fear. To this day, when a bee flies close, it requires every ounce of willpower I have to remind myself I'm a grown man and running would be embarrassing.

Another quality of Banneker Bones is that he's very wealthy, which comes in handy as I'll need him to have all sorts of gadgets and resources. As he's modeled after Batman (though nowhere near as glum as Banneker's parents are very much alive), I haven't deviated from the formula that he has no superpower apart from cold hard cash. I've always thought of the Bruce Wayne archetype as extremely optimistic. Wouldn't it be nice if the super-rich and affluent devoted their time and considerable resources to improving society and benefiting the least of us the way most of us like to think we would do in the same position?

If I were a different writer, I might be able to ignore the fact that Banneker is a member of the richest 1%, but economics are a passion of mine. On top of the wealth of the Bones family there are robots in Banneker's world, displacing human workers the way automation has been steadily displacing them in the real world. If I currently made my living driving a truck, a cab, or a bus, the emergence of self-driving vehicles would make me very nervous indeed. Younger readers are growing up in a time of complete social revolution, so the issues of Banneker's world are the issues of their world.

I myself am extremely wealthy by world-wide standards (so are you, probably, if you're reading this in North America) and by historical standards, there are kings who haven't lived as extravagantly as I do (I have a PS4, after all). I'm writing this from an air-conditioned home office after breakfast and before lunch. Mrs. Ninja and I have two cars, smart phones, and we've lived into our thirties without contracting a terrible disease. In the lottery of birth, we landed in the United States where we were taught to read and write (no need for this afterword without that), so in the grand scheme of things, we're doing pretty well for ourselves. Like most Americans, we don't appreciate this nearly enough.

For a decade, I've been working various financial consultant positions, so I can also appreciate how many people have a whole lot more money than us and I was working as a stockbroker in 2008 when economics jumped to the forefront of everyone's mind. I read Wall Street news each and every day and during 2008 I became utterly fascinated by how our financial system actually works (not the way we're told in school). It's no coincidence that at this same time I became interested in conspiracy theories, given the vast and sickening conspiracies the actual news was reporting. And when I read these smug banking CEOs explain why it was okay they'd stolen from America and betrayed the country, they frequently referenced the work of an important author and philosopher: Ayn Rand.

So I read some of her books and my blood ran cold. Actually, at first I laughed because surely no one could've taken this poor insane woman seriously. But, of course, many important people had, including such key folks as former Chairman of the Treasury Alan Greenspan. And as I looked at the world around me, suddenly it made sense. Atlas Shrugged is like a decoder ring for understanding the way our present society has formed.

The bottom line for most every major problem in America is someone thinking it's okay to put profit above the well being of others. Sure, soda and processed food companies are poisoning children and weakening the entire country, but they're making a lot of money; sure, trickster bankers destroyed lives and communities, but they made a lot of money; sure, for-profit American prisons have the largest incarceration numbers in the world, but they're making a lot of money, etcetera, ecetera forever. Not every issue boils down to greed, but most do, and so it makes sense that many Americans would champion the work of the philosopher who framed selfishness as a virtue.

Astute Readers may notice there is a character in Banneker Bones and the Giant Robot Bees named Mr. Rand. I assure you, this is a complete coincidence. Although she didn't make the final cut for this first book, in the coming books we'll meet Mr. Rand's dog, Ayn. This name is also a complete coincidence and in no way relevant to the promised economic parables to come in this series--because younger readers love economic parables:)

But not to worry. The thing I love most about The And Then Story is that there's always another adventure ahead. Fun and excitement will always be my first, second, third, fourth, and fifth concern. But I do feel that so long as I have an audience, particularly a young audience, I should make sure that whatever I say to them is worth saying. As they're inheriting this mess America finds itself in, one message I want to proclaim is selfishness is not a virtue and its not okay. We need to rethink our national idea of wealth as it relates to an individual's value and though I don't have any answers, I intend to continue asking the questions in this series.

And that's it, except to talk about Richard Adams. Regular Esteemed Readers know that I interviewed Richard Adams for this blog in 2011 and that I was able to tell him what his book, Watership Down, meant to me. After the interview, I told him Watership Down was actually referenced multiple times in the book I had on submission to publishers and offered to send him a copy. He was so amused by this he offered me the blurb on Banneker's cover (and every other place I could paste it).

I remember the day I got a response from him featuring his blurb as one of the proudest, happiest moments of my writing life. I sent his words to my agent and my wife and then I cried just a little. Only another writer can really understand the pain of spending hours upon hours alone crafting manuscript after manuscript, hoping and praying that someone, somewhere will think you're not crazy, only to be rejected by editors and agents for reasons that don't seem to make any sense. Future writers may not be able to relate ("Wait, you mean writers once had to beg publishing conglomerates to take total control of their lifetime rights in exchange for a pittance and minimal marketing? Really? And writers put up with that!?!"), given that anyone, anywhere can now publish their work.

But the day I got Richard Adams' kind words about my writing, I knew this story would find readers, somehow, someway. There were a lot of protracted discussions with publishers that followed, so many "yes's" followed by "no's" that I prefer not to relive them all here. Through it all, I had Richard Adams' words and the words of the students who read early copies to convince me I wasn't crazy, and one day this story would find readers.

Banneker Bones and the Giant Robot Bees is the fourth book I'm publishing, but it's the reason I published the other ones at all. As much as I love my scary stories, I only published them first so that I could make any newbie mistakes with them. All Together Now was a sacrificial lamb to clear the way for this story, which is the story I've always wanted to tell. As of now, it's available around the world to readers of all ages and it will find them, somehow, someway.

Richard Adams gave me the gift of hope. If it hadn't been for his endorsement, I might've put Banneker back on the shelf and tried traditional publishing again with some other book (possibly with an all-white cast). And I would've always regretted it. Instead, with the confidence that the author of Watership Down thought my book worthy of reading, I did something different.

The version of Banneker Bones and the Giant Robot Bees now available with a brilliant cover by Steven Novak and wonderful illustrations by Adam Smith is the book I dreamed it would be. It's the reason I spent all those years rewriting and reworking it. It's my heart, made print. It's a book I placed on my son's shelf and when he gets old enough to read it, it will be waiting for him.

NINJA STUFF: An Appropriate Relationship Between Author and Blogger (Part Two)

Last Time on Ninja Stuff: I talked about how authors should better appreciate bloggers for all the hard, usually unpaid work they do to promote books. I stated that I think a writer who requests a blogger to feature them should have the courtesy to promote that post should a blogger agree to do them a solid. I also admitted that I'd been a tad too hasty in commenting on a post advocating for bloggers (whom I love) because I didn't think through the ramifications of requiring authors (whom I also love) to promote posts about their work.

And now the thrilling conclusion...

Today, I want to talk about book bloggers, their relationship to authors, and some behaviors that are definitely not okay. Chief among them is charging or otherwise extorting authors for reviews. Unfortunately, authors are surrounded by folks who want to take advantage of their big book dreams pretty much everywhere they go.

There are probably exceptions (please name them in the comments if you know of some), but I would be deeply skeptical of any blogger or review publication that wanted to charge for a review. As an author I don't consider a review I have to pay for to be worth having.

Certainly, I would never want to be found having paid for a positive review of my book. Whatever short-term advantage such a review might give me would be far outweighed by the potential risk of my having been discovered buying a planted review. I'd rather let one book get destroyed by troll reviewers than risk the integrity of my entire body of work (of which there will soon be one). As a blogger, I don't want people thinking my opinion is for sale (I will give you a totally biased 5-star review for free).

I'm in a somewhat unique position as an online reviewer because I don't actually write reviews in the traditional sense and I'm now an author. I write posts about books, telling you the key details and praising the strong points of each novel. But the following disclaimer has appeared on every Book of the Week "review" I've ever written:

I’ll leave you to discover the negative qualities of each week’s book on your own.

What is that!?! If I tried to get a gig as a professional critic someplace, I'd be laughed right out. What kind of reviewer doesn't write criticism? The kind who writes reviews because he loves books and authors and doesn't care that he's not known for being a hard-nosed critic.

I'm okay with this because there is no such thing as an objective reviewer. Certainly, there are many reviewers closer to being objective than me, but a review, no matter how substantially argued, is just the opinion of the reviewer. Art is subjective, period, end of story. So is its enjoyment.

Bloggers have their own tastes and bias. Some are more objective than others. Over time, bloggers develop a reputation and their readers typically take this into consideration when evaluating their reviews. If a book becomes relevant enough for readers to discuss, a consensus will eventually form, and readers will have their own opinion outside the consensus. Neither my automatic 5-star review or a review written by the author's mom will hold that great a sway. A book attracts readers or it doesn't.

And reviews aren't the final word. I don't care that Bait 3D currently has an average of less than stellar reviews. I loved that movie. 3D sharks in a grocery store is choice entertainment and I'll never believe otherwise.  I would've watched it even if it only had one star and I can't wait for the sequel. Conversely, I still haven't seen The Artist, which won all the academy awards and the hearts of critics everywhere. If it were on, I wouldn't leave the room, but no amount of critical praise is enough to convince me to invest two hours of my life I could otherwise be enjoying Sharknado.

I don't think book blogging should be elite. Some bloggers will rise to greater notoriety than others as will some authors, but all should be welcome. Online real estate is plentiful and cheap, so if you like books, why not stake out your lot? If you're an author thinking of establishing or expanding your online presence, you should absolutely consider starting a book blog because then you'll be part of the solution for authors who need to get the word out. Karma will come back to you when you have a book to promote. Trust me, I know.

There is no one way to run a book blog. Book bloggers don't have to have any special training and there is no uniform code of ethics for online reviewers. Anyone, anywhere can up and declare themselves a ninja just as anyone, anywhere can up and declare themselves an author, and that is a beautiful thing. All are welcome, which means authors will always encounter conflicting submission guidelines and one-off oddities when seeking book promotion.

Therefore, I can't chastise book bloggers for not following the rules as there are no established rules for me to appeal to. So what follows is a list of things I think book bloggers should do to at a minimum:

1. Post your reviews to sites other than your blog. This is a win/win. People aren't searching Google for "Indiana dad who writes zombie books and has opinions on middle grade fiction" (pity). But they are searching for opinions on books and my reviews are more likely to be seen on Amazon and Goodreads than they are at this blog. Esteemed Readers who like my reviews follow me home, which is a win for me. They also encounter my opinion at a crucial location when they're considering purchasing the book in question, which is a win for the author. Win/win. Do this.

2. Be consistent and fair in your treatment of authors. Readers will turn on you if you're rude to an author. If your average review is 700 words, try to maintain that average for books you like and books you don't. If you savage authors for their shortcomings, make sure you're consistently savaging the same shortcomings across multiple books and writers.

3. Write a review submission policy. You can only complain about authors not following it if you  have one. Mine's simple: if it's a middle grade or young adult book, email me. I might say no, especially just now, since having a baby has put considerable restraints on my writing and blogging time. Unless you send me a mass email or form letter (delete!), I usually respond within a week.

4. Be polite and respectful. You don't have to look at books through rose-colored glasses like I do, but writing books is hard. Whatever you're reading, someone, somewhere probably loved it and worked hard on it (maybe not hard enough, but still). You can write that the book is bad without attacking the author personally. You can treat authors of bad books with the same courtesy you treat authors of great books.

5. If an author gives you an interview or a guest post, they are your guest. Treat them as such and be thankful they've agreed to appear at your blog.

6. Maintain an easy-to-search list of links. This is another win/win. Readers will appreciate being able to navigate your site and authors will get more bang for their buck. Not everyone reads a review the day it's posted. The great (and sometimes terrible) thing about online is it's forever. Your review is still valuable to the author two years later, so make it easy for readers to find. When I interviewed Courtney Summers, she was a debut novelist, and her interview has only become more impressive for me to have with each book she's published. If you're interviewing me, keep that link posted as it's a long-term investment:)

7. If an author requests a reasonable change, make it. I've had authors and agents request I update their photos, bios, answers, and other information. If someone writes a guest post for you, then notices an error and brings it to your attention, correct it. The change makes you both look better and you'll develop a reputation for being a blogger who's easy to work with. The writing community is a small one and you want that reputation. If an author requests an unreasonable change, such as please reread my book and reconsider your review, respond and let them know why their request is unreasonable. If the author persists, you have my permission to block them:)

8. Remember that authors are magical. An author is someone stuck half in another world and deserves the benefit of the doubt. Just now I was changing my son's diaper while simultaneously imagining we were surrounded by walking corpses and pondering how we might escape (very practical). I'm not all here and I'm not the only one. Authors sometimes say strange things and behave oddly. So long as they're courteous to you, return their courtesy and understand that an author's aloofness is a natural outgrowth of their profession.


If I think of anything else, I'll update this list later. But I think this is a good start.

I've got one last bit of advice for book bloggers: you're the reporter, not the story. Always remember that in your dealings with authors, even when it gets difficult, and it probably will at some point. Lois Lowery is a big deal author and rightly admired for her contribution to literature (as are most of the authors who've appeared here, but I had to pick one to make this point). Her accomplishments are hers, not mine (obviously). Any glory that falls on me for having had the good fortune to feature her here is reflected glory. I'm just the guy holding the microphone for a greater talent and I do well to remember it.

By and large, authors are very nice people and appreciate their fans. I've had the experience of big time authors being extra nice to me and I highly recommend it as it's awesome. Courtney Summers thanked me in the back of her zombie book (how awesome is that) and of course I thanked her in the back of mine. Darby Karchut's new book, Gideon's Spear, available today, features a blurb from yours truly. Both of these things were a surprise to me as the authors decided to do them without my knowledge and I'm very excited and grateful.

Just yesterday in response to the first part of this post, Hugh Howey wrote on Facebook where my mom could see it that I was an "excellent writer." It made me feel warm and fuzzy because I really admire Hugh Howey and I have his email address. I could bug him right not and ask him to read my book, request that he tell me once again how special I am, ask him to give me writing advice, etc. And he's such a nice guy, he might even do some of those things, but it would be wrong of me to ask.

This is crucial to understand. If you want to piss an author off, impose on them with personal requests. Hugh Howey's time is not better spent placating me. He's a busy guy and I and all his fans are better served if he spends his time writing his next book, which is something we can all enjoy. He's got a website full of great advice to writers. We can all read it. He arranges fan meetings and next time he does one close to me, I'll try to go as I'd enjoy meeting him in person and that's time he's set up in his schedule to do that.

DO NOT DEVELOP A REPUTATION AS SOMEONE WHO EXHORTS AUTHORS. DO NOT ASK THEM TO CRITIQUE YOUR MANUSCRIPT, DO NOT WRITE THEM SIX MONTHS AFTER THEIR REVIEW AND ASK THEM FOR ADVICE. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO THEIR POST AT YOUR BLOG AND THAT IS ALL, AND ONLY THAT MUCH BECAUSE THEY AGREED TO DO IT. YOU ARE BASKING IN REFLECTED GLORY.

That being said, the situation does sometimes get murky, I know. I had a well known author insist on critiquing my manuscript without my even hinting I wanted it, though I did appreciate it (I'm not passing that up). Another author insisted on introducing me to her agent. And I don't mind asking authors if their agents or editors would want to appear here as that's my schtick and the author is totally welcome to ignore the request.

Part of the reason a writer might want to start a book blog is to network and make writer friends. By meeting so many writers, I've found some really cool people I now consider friends. I tried to be brief and respectful and professional in my emails to Lynne Reid Banks, but every time I did, she emailed me back and we had a lovely correspondence that went on for some time and I treasure it. What's key, though, is that correspondence was on her terms. I didn't expect it and l certainly didn't feel entitled to it. It just happened and it was very nice. I don't expect it to be repeated the next time I interview a childhood hero.

To further confuse this issue, I summoned up all the courage I ever had or ever will have, took a crazy leap of faith, and asked Richard Adams to blub my book, and he did. He said he was happy to and I believe him. I don't ask authors who appear here for blurbs anymore because the authors I asked after Mr. Adams did not respond favorably, nor should they have. It was an abuse of my position to ask. As soon as an author politely pointed this out to me, I felt pretty low and I won't do it again.

As I've said, there is no hard and fast code of ethics for book bloggers to follow. None of us is specially trained to do this and most of us aren't getting paid. Mistakes happen. But I think if we book bloggers proceed with the understanding that we're doing this for a love of books and authors and that the blog itself is its own reward, we'll be all right.

NINJA STUFF: An Appropriate Relationship Between Author and Blogger (Part One)

Greetings and salutations, Esteemed Reader. I hope this post finds you well. It's Writing Day, which is how it is I have time to both produce my daily word count for All Right Now (soon to be available) and write this post. The YA Cannibals are all here and for the first time, so is Little Ninja, which means my writing group may get to see me write with a baby in a pouch on my chest before the day is over and witness my full on Dad-ness:)

I stumbled into an online hornet's nest briefly over the weekend, which is good. It builds character:) It's important for me to remember that I'm an online figure (mostly anonymous though I may be) and the things I do online I do in full view of every Esteemed Reader I've ever had or ever will have. That is the reality of being a writer in our time. It's the reason the daring of some of our literature may dip a bit—some pretty wonderful things have been written by some pretty terrible people—looking at you, Hemmingway and Hubbard—but they didn't have to live in public. Today's authors do.

So I read a post by a fellow book blogger about reviews and an author's responsibility to the blogger writing the review. Specifically, her contention was that writers requesting a blogger take time out of their life to feature the author's book on the blogger's promotion platform should reciprocate by using their platform to promote the blog post. Knee jerk reaction: I agree.

Happy go lucky ninja that I am, I commented that it annoys me when authors invite me to dinner and don't pay for their meal, and it does. When Richard Adams was interviewed here, believe me, it was because I asked him:) It was extremely gracious of him to make time for this blog and a fanboy like me. He did not have to say yes. I had nothing to offer him. I cannot imagine his sales have been impacted by little old me, but Richard Adams is a class act and did the interview anyway. He owes me nothing. I owe him. The same is true for all the other authors I've invited to appear here.

The authors who've approached me and requested I review their book and interview them are in a somewhat different situation. I think offering to give me a review copy in exchange for a feature post at this blog is fair. I've been giving away copies of All Together Now to the bloggers kind enough to post about my book.

I flatter myself by thinking I'm an author bloggers don't regret agreeing to feature because I've been on their side of the transaction and I appreciate the effort and sacrifice that go into maintaining a blog. I'm one of eleventy billion indie authors flogging a book about zombies and the blogger has no way to know for sure that my book isn't terrible like so many others.

Giving them a free book is the least I can do and that free book should entitle me only to their consideration, not their guaranteed review, and certainly not their opinion being swayed one way or another—though of course it will be, because by the very act of "meeting" online, I've given them an impression of myself beyond what's available in my book.

No amount of courtesy on the author's part makes up for a terrible reading experience and the reviewer is well within their rights to declare my book awful despite my having been polite and given them a book or even an interview or guest post. It isn't rude or personal. A reviewer who promises their readers their honest opinion about a book should give it (that's not me), whether the author is a class act or a jerkface. If I met Roald Dahl, I might regret it, but The Witches would still be one of the greatest books I've ever read and my impression of his writing is probably aided by the fact that I didn't meet him.

I've given copies of my book to bloggers who to date have neither reviewed it nor so much as mentioned it to their readers. So long as the blogger looked at my book and gave it some consideration, we're square. I used to send books to agents in hopes of representation and it was the same—a moment of their time to consider me is all I can reasonably request in exchange for providing the opportunity. Does this sort of suck for newbie writers? Yep. If you're not used to putting up with some things that suck, you haven't been writing long.

In the event that the blogger who's time I've imposed upon agrees to feature my book, I technically owe them nothing. I've never charged an author for an appearance here (nor will I ever) and I've never paid to have my book featured. A blog post is a mutually beneficial transaction. The blogger needs content. You can't run a book review blog with no books to review. The author needs for someone, anyone to please talk about their book. That these two parties have found each other is a beautiful thing and nobody owes anybody anything.

However, there is such a thing as courtesy and decorum. If someone in life does something nice for you, you do not have to say thank you. But odds of more nice things being done for you are greatly increased if you do. And if you do something nice for someone, it is perhaps understandable if you are miffed should they neglect to thank you. It doesn't change the nice thing you did and you probably didn't do it to be thanked, but the person would likely be closer to your heart if they showed a little gratitude.

So when a blogger features me, I tweet a link to their post, I share it on Facebook, and I link to it from here. I like their reviews on goodreads and when Amazon asks me if their review was helpful to me, I assure Amazon it absolutely was. Perhaps this makes me seem self absorbed, and I am, I am, but I also believe in saying thank you. I do that also, but by promoting their blog, presumably I make at least one or two people aware it exists.

I have a couple fans and if I can send both of them to that blog, thereby benefiting both me and the blogger kind enough to feature me, I say that's a good thing to have done. As of this writing, demands to review my book have tragically not overwhelmed me:) If I were a writer of Hugh Howey's prominence, I might feel differently—but that guy somehow always finds time for his readers and smart writers will emulate the behavior of such a successful author.

I'm not angry at the authors who have had tons of twitter followers and FB friends, none of whom knew I reviewed their book because the author didn't tell them. It would've been nice if they had, but the authors, even the ones who requested my services, were not obligated to. I had the pleasure of reading a book, fresh content for this blog, and usually an interview with an interesting writer. Fair enough.

But I remember the authors who did show their gratitude for my time and am more likely to review their future works. I tell you this because this is a blog for writers and I want writers reading this to recognize this truth as I'm sure other bloggers feel similarly.

The vast majority of authors are wonderful people and if you read this blog, you know I love them. But there are some jerks out there and it's been my impression that the there's a direct correlation between being a jerk and being less successful as a writer.

I had an author beg me to consider their unknown indie book, then demand that I ask him different questions specific to his work than the questions I ask everyone. My response was to politely decline him, but my thought was that if those same 7 Questions were good enough for Richard Adams, you better believe they're good enough for an unknown indie author. When he came back months later with a new book, I declined him without even reading the book's description.

Conversely, the more successful the author, typically the nicer they are and the more I admire them. I met Kathi Appelt at a conference surrounded by writers who thought she walked on water (could be she does), and she made a point to seek me out over all those adoring fans and thank me for my review of The Underneath. She didn't have to do this, but it took all of a minute of her time to do it and it was a great thrill for me, not to mention a crucial instruction on how a great writer ought to behave that I'll never forget.

I've since bought other books by Kathi Appelt and I'm more likely to recommend her over other authors because she created a lifelong fan in a single gesture. I firmly believe that Kathi Appelt is more successful because she makes a habit of doing things like this and creating fans one at a time adds up over a writing career. If you're looking for a fan, you could do worse than a blogger who's interested in books—I'm halfway there already.

Likewise, Hugh Howey wrote me and congratulated me on publishing my first novel. Darby Karchut not only congratulated me, she read the book and reviewed it and now her blurb appears in the marketing. When I think of the sort of author I most want to be, I want to be this Hugh Howey/Darby Karchut/Kathi Appelt type. In the interest of time, we'll leave this point with those three examples, but know that most of the authors interviewed here have behaved admirably.

Other authors have argued with me about my review of their book, which is absurd, because I give every book here 5 stars. Some authors have become nasty when I told them I didn't want to review the sequel as I'd already promoted them once and there were other authors I wanted to feature instead. And some authors have sent me messages that can only be described as crazy pants. If they send me such messages before I write my review, I dump them, but crazy is sometimes hard to screen for.

Bloggers who deal with authors get to chat with some of the greatest people on earth, but they also encounter psychos—which is true of anyone interacting with a wide range of writers. I'm so glad I blogged first before becoming an author as it's given me an appreciation for what bloggers do and too many writers take us for granted. If you want me to take time away from my family and my writing to read your book and promote you in the same space as the fantastic authors who've appeared here, that's not a service you should have to pay for in any way, but it's certainly not nothing and a bit of gratitude goes a long way.

So when I encountered a fellow blogger asking authors to be courteous to bloggers, I resoundingly agreed. We need authors, but authors need us, and as an author/blogger, I need everyone:) The trouble was I didn't consider the post as it was written carefully enough before I commented. This particular post outlined some required things an author should do in exchange for being featured, and that subject is a little murkier than the black and white argument that authors should appreciate bloggers (and vice versa).

Our old friend Mike Mullin corrected me on that score. I've talked a lot about author's behavior toward bloggers, so in the second part of this post I'm going to talk about blogger's behavior toward authors. So stay tuned author friends and blogger friends, during part two remember what an advocate I was for you in part one:)

See you tomorrow, same ninja time, same ninja channel.

Go to Part 2.

NINJA STUFF: Going Indie (Part One)

Hi there, Esteemed Reader. I've been telling you I had some big news for you and if you've been following this blog you've probably already suspected this was coming. Actually, this post might more aptly be titled "Gone Indie," as I've already done it. Instead of reading this post, you could right now, this very moment be reading my extremely violent, absolutely offensive, and in-no-way-appropriate-for-children Young ADULT novel All Together Now: A Zombie Story. Here's a link.

I'll be telling you more about that book next week, but for now I'll let our old friend Ashfall author Mike Mullin do it:

"All Together Now: A Zombie Story is by turns disgusting, terrifying, funny, and heartbreaking. Fans of The Walking Dead will eat it up like, well, zombies munching fresh brains. A stellar debut from a novelist to watch!"

Instead of talking about the book, I want to talk about my decision to go "indie." As most of you Esteemed Readers are writers, I have to assume you've at least considered independently publishing your work. Indie publishing is not the right choice for all writers and if you're uncertain, I'd sit back and watch how myself and other indie authors fair before throwing your hat in the ring.

First, let me say I do not hold a grudge against traditional publishing. I know it's common fashion for indie authors to talk smack about big publishing and its many shortcomings (a silly trend), but I still love big publishers. How could I not? We have the same goal: producing quality books for readers. 

I still plan to promote books released by the big houses and as long as they're willing to appear here, I'm still overjoyed to feature interviews with literary agents and editors. Their advice is often golden and always worth paying attention to. I'd be happy to consider partnering with a traditional publisher down the road and I'd recommend pursuing that route of publication if it's available to you and suited to your goals.

My decision to go Indie is in no way motivated by ill feelings toward any of the fine publishing professionals I've encountered over the years. I try never to make a decision motivated by negative feelings. I'm independently publishing because it's the right decision for me for a number of reasons, among them this blog, Hugh Howey, Richard Adams, the pending birth of my son, a car accident, and you, Esteemed Reader.

You may remember I got to "meet" Richard Adams through this blog two years ago. I was able to tell him the profound effect Watership Down had on me and ask him my 7 Questions as well as some others not posted here. The Ninja doesn't kiss and tell, so I almost never post tidbits I learn in private from the writers and agents I interview, but I've had extended correspondence with many of my heroes through this blog and got to know a wide circle of writers. I'm not going to start blabbing now, but I must say chatting with Richard Adams remains one of the most profound experiences of my life.

What you don't know is that he read my book (a middle grade book, not the YA zombie thing). I can't imagine him liking The And Then Story (not actually the title) in the same way I love Watership Down, but he did like it. I know he did because he wrote me a blurb saying as much:

“Let me say at once that I think this is a most original and amusing piece of work. A reader is arrested at the outset by a paradoxical witticism and he goes on being arrested as the story gets into its stride. (Protagonist 1) and (Protagonist 2) appear as characters about whom the reader wants to learn more, and soon he begins to be in no doubt about this.”

Update: This book, Banneker Bones and the Giant Robot Bees, has since been published.

The first time I read that, my legs gave out and I had to sit down before I fell over. Richard Adams saying you wrote a good story is like Batman saying you're a good crime fighter. Ninja's don't cry, but this one got a little misty that day. If anyone, anywhere could offer the validation we writers naturally seek and assure us we are a really, for real writer, it's Richard Adams.

I don't want to come off as an old man, but I remember a time before cell phones. When I was a wee Ninja, my father was proud to own one of the original Macintosh PC's and one of the first things I did was use it to type up a book complete with a picture (two whole pages!). There wasn't anywhere for it to go and printer paper was expensive, so if I wanted someone to read my book, I had to hand deliver my one copy or sit them down in front of the only computer on which my book was available to be read on a blurry black and white screen. I didn't even have the option to email it to people as this was pre-internet (get off my lawn!).

Today's kids don't know how good they got it. These many years later I've sat in front of a computer with a high definition color screen and written another book that is right now, this moment available to be purchased by anyone, anywhere in the world. I, a middle-to-lower-class fella of average education who grew up in a small Indiana town, have been able to reach across the ocean to England and contact one of the greatest and most famous writers who has ever lived. We have corresponded, he's given me advice, and been gracious enough to read and endorse my novel.

When else in the entire history of mankind has this experience been possible?

It's easy to take the internet for granted and to forget it's only been with us a short time. When I was a kid, my father promised me it would change everything and so it has. The internet is one of the reasons I'm not a third generation Kent working for a newspaper. Who reads a paper anymore? The internet is also one of the reasons it's so, so hard to land a publishing contract.

I'll tell you a few more candid details about my publishing journey in the second and third parts of this post (I've been told "yes" by editors multiple times, only to be cut by committees), but know that I've been considering indie publishing for years. I wrote All Together Now: A Zombie Story with Kindle Direct Publishing in mind. I vowed to give the book a round of submissions to test the market, see if any intriguing options popped up, and if none did, publish it myself. 

The rejections I got from traditional publishers were very enthusiastic for the story, but cited the reasons for rejection (paraphrased) as  "in the two to five years it will take to get this book to market, the current zombie trend may be over" and "it's too hard to compete with all the cheap Amazon ebooks about zombies." 

Immediately, I thought "I could be the author of one of those cheap ebooks about zombies!" And I could get my book to readers now, this year, in time for Halloween and the start of season 4 of The Walking Dead. And I could do it without worry of being censored. My zombie book could remain just as violent, offensive, and outright gross as I prayed it would emerge from a traditional publisher. Also, I picked the cover and the marketing material so if I don't like it, I know who to blame.

The internets have been good to me, Esteemed Reader. What meeting you and running this blog have taught me is that with a bit of hard work, anything is possible. When I started this blog, it wasn't much to speak of, but with effort and luck I've been able to talk with childhood heroes Richard Adams, Lois Lowry, Jean Craighead George, Lynn Reed Banks,  and many, many other talented writers and publishing professionals. If I can reach those folks, isn't it at least possible I can reach readers?

I could've never pulled this off running a traditional print magazine in my spare time, but with a blog and an email account I've been able to reach a readership I would've never thought possible when I began and Mrs. Ninja was the only one reading my posts. What this blog has taught me is if you write it, they may come.

Esteemed Reader, that's good enough for me.

Review Policy Amendment, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Indie Book

It's an exciting time to be an author, Esteemed Reader. I can't tell you the number of times I've heard industry  insiders bemoan the lowly state of modern publishing because it's nothing like it used to be and the empire is crumbling. If I had a once cushy job at a publishing house and I'd seen my pay slashed and my friends laid off, I'd also be bemoaning the series of mergers destined to one day result in one publisher run by five interns.

But I never had a cushy publishing job. And things change. My grandfather owned a newspaper, my father worked for a corporate newspaper; I run a free blog. Things change.

But change is so often a good thing. In college, a friend of mine had to declare bankruptcy when his printed literary magazine in which he interviewed writers and reviewed books went under. At his height, he had a respectable subscription of just over 500 readers. As of this post, I average 60 times that number of readers every month (and growing), and this blog costs me a little less than $100 a year to run. And only that much because I lack the gumption to ask some writers to give me free books to review. I already had a copy of Watership Down, so Richard Adams got a pass:)

I love literary agents and editors. Esteemed Reader, you know I do. I never would've got the readership I was just bragging about without them. But my loyalty is not, nor has it ever been, to the traditional publishing model. I care about good stories well told. Any way a talented writer can get to me and capture my imagination, short of coming to my house and shouting her story while I'm trying to sleep, is okay with me--having to specify this is a natural outgrowth of being friends with authors like Mike Mullin:)

That being said, my review policy is out of date and needs to be amended. Since the start of this blog, I've been refusing indie authors. My view of the self-published author has been one of disdain. I understand a writer wanting to get their story out by any means necessary, but so frequently the result is a published book not yet ready to be published. I've resented indie authors because why should it be so easy for them when it's so hard for the rest of us slugging away at the traditional model?

Things change.

It used to be if a book was published by a major publisher, a reader could at least expect a certain standard of quality. For whatever reason or reasons, that's been slipping. You know I only comment on the positive aspects of the books I review here, but that doesn't mean I don't catch all the atrocious mistakes and errors. I've been telling my critique group for a while we have to be more vigilant in editing our work because we can't trust publishing houses to catch our mistakes.

Too many writers have I seen recently thrust up on stage without their publisher first noticing their fly was down. Too many traditionally published books have I read with awful passages I wouldn't let my worst enemy publish without at least a word of caution.

Things change.

I read Open Minds by my old friend Susan Kaye Quinn and I'm ravenously devouring the collected works of Hugh Howey. I've started reading an indie author every other book and what I'm finding is a lot of garbage, but in-between the hay, there's the occasional needle. I've now read indie books so good I tell friends about them, and why shouldn't I tell you about them, Esteemed Reader?

Like Scrooge the morning after, I've discovered the true meaning of Christmas. What I love is great books. I don't care who publishes them. So, knowing the onslaught of emails about to bury my inbox before I finish this sentence, I, Robert Kent, Middle Grade Ninja, being of (mostly) sound mind, hereby lift my unreasonable ban of indie authors.

I want indie publishing to flourish. How could I not? Is this a traditional print literary magazine you're reading? I've been "indie publishing" this blog for years. No one asked me to do it, no one gave me permission. I just did it. How could I think less of any fellow writer for doing the same?

However, I AM NOT GOING TO REVIEW SLUSH.

The other reason I've summarily turned down indie writers for years is so I don't have to say "no" to individuals. That ends now. If you're an indie writer and you submit a book to me, know that I'm going to hold you to a higher level of accountability because you don't have anyone to blame for your book's lack of quality but yourself. If I don't think your book is ready for mainstream consumption, I'm not recommending it.

I'm no gatekeeper. But anytime I review a book here, I'm spending time away from my family, my writing, and other books. I'll keep an open mind and check out free samples, but if I don't want to read your book or I don't think Esteemed Reader will like it, I'm not going to feature it. Nothing personal. It's just like, you know, my opinion, man. Don't worry about it, indie author. Go find another blogger or write a better book, or better yet, do both.

If I were traditionally publishing these reviews, I'm sure someone would be in a position to tell me what books to read. Of course, I might also be getting paid:) But there's no money, and it's just you and me, Esteemed Reader. So let's try something new. It might be fun.


If you want me to consider your self-published book, here are the ground rules going forward:

1. Your book must be professionally presented. If I can't stomach the thought of your book's hideous cover marring the front page of my precious blog, it's not going to. If you haven't bothered to format your book in an orderly fashion, that doesn't give me much hope for your writing. If you don't take your book seriously, I'm not going to either.

2. Your book must be middle grade or young adult. I would think calling this blog MIDDLE GRADE Ninja would make this clear, but judging by the emails I get, not everyone's picking up what I'm laying down.

3. The Ninja reads free. You may be the next Richard Adams, but that remains to be seen. If you want me to consider your book, you have to give me a free Kindle copy. It's a marketing cost, dude.

4. No means no. If I say I'm not interested, leave it at that. Don't make me be the bad guy. I don't have to critique your work--you should've had that done before you published. And I don't have to explain myself. The reason I decide not to review your book may be because a butterfly flapped its wings in Central Park. Don't send me hate mail. Move on. If you're a real writer, you should be used to rejection.

That's all the rules I can think of for now. We'll see how this goes, then maybe I'll add some more.